The Christian Bear

I have read this many times over in several sites and books, yet it does not fail to make me laugh.


An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. “What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!” he said to himself. As he continued walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he saw a seven-foot grizzly charging toward him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder, he saw that the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping frantically, and he tried to run even faster.

He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him. At that instant the atheist cried out, “Oh my God!”

Time stopped.

The bear froze.

The forest was silent.

It was then that a bright light shone down upon the man, and a voice came out of the sky saying, “You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don’t exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?”

The atheist looked directly into the light, “It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the bear a Christian?”

“Very well,” the voice said.

The light went out.

And the sounds of the forest resumed.

Then, the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head, and spoke, “Lord, bless this food, which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful. Amen.”

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