Scribbled Emotions

Lately, I have been grumpy and impulsive. I know it was and is bad of me to suddenly raise my voice when, in fact, you did nothing wrong. Perhaps it is because of the fact that I get unsatisfied cravings or maybe because of the things I have to think about—work, family, bills, and many others. I know I am quite unpredictable and uncontrollable. But that does not mean that I am starting to love you less. I love you more and more every day; I just can’t get the mastery over my temper. “That’s how you know they [your family] love you, when they’re comfortable enough to yell at you,” so said Gloria Delgado-Pritchett; I know this is quite stupid. But please, don’t ever think I have found someone else, or feel insecure that I love you less. It’s just me being stupid and uncontrollable.

But I thank you for telling me this. Otherwise, I would not have known you’ve been feeling this way. I know that you do not really read my blog, as you are not the type of person who really reads much. But please, just once, read this. I do not demand that you read all the poems I write for you nor the stories I write for my blogs or contests I join in. I tried telling you this last time, but I do not know how and where to start; my guilt took over me. Like I have always told you, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t love you. You very well know that why I came and stayed here was because of you—my job was just secondary. I came here without any job in mind; it was because I wanted to be with you after a year or more of separation. So please, do not ever think that I am slowly slipping away from you. And if you think I am, please hold me back and not let me go slowly away. But then again, you don’t have to because I am not slipping away from you.

Now that our timeline will not meet much often because of our jobs, please know this: I am always here waiting for you. Every night. I love you. And I know that you know it. It’s time to cast all those insecurities and doubts away. I am yours.

^@^