Ten Backwashes of Dating an English and/or Literature Major

Dating an English and/or literature major has its perks, of course. Dating anybody has perks. But what few people know is that dating an English and/or literature major can also be very annoying. Here are some reasons why.

  1. Every thing you say or do gets alluded to any literary character or event. Having read so many pieces of literature, English and literature majors tend to allude all your actions to have they have read. Your simple reaction to something can be paralleled to Shakespeare, Milton, Alcott, Rowling, Applegate, and the list can go on. This can be very annoying especially when you are not in the mood for a literature lecture.
  2. You are a constant grammar Jew. Most often than not, you get corrected with your grammar, choice of words, pronunciation, and many other language related issues while you are speaking. But don’t worry, they do this for your own good. (Unless you’re dating an egotistic prick who loves shaming people; don’t worry, I’m not like that.)
  3. They talk nonstop and can be highfalutin sometimes. That’s all. They talk nonstop. About anything or everything. What they see, what they think, what they read. They stop talking when they’re tired or hungry. But most of the time, they talk. And talk some more. They are garrulous. They also tend to use highfalutin words. The simple hypocrite can become charlatan, and the simple “I do not believe in the zodiac” can become “I do not participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun’s apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of one’s birth somehow affects one’s personality.” Simple conversations can become a cause of epistaxis.
  4.  They are overly poetic. Though some might find it cute that you are dating a poetic individual, you might find it annoying. English and/or literature majors parallel almost everything to poetry. They may talk deep, think deep, act deep—not mysterious, just deep. They may veil their thoughts and words poetically and not say it straight out. This is where it gets annoying, let alone confusing if you are not into poetry at all.
  5. Everything is or has a symbolism. Whether you are watching a movie, listening to a song; looking at a portrait, a painting, a sculpture, or any other form of art; they can see symbols in almost everything. Nothing is what it is; there is always more to what the eyes can see and the ears can hear. The blue curtains are not just simple decors; they are symbols of depression and seclusion. The chained dog is not just a chained dog; it is a symbol of oppression, tyranny, and even self-pity. The dark clouds do not mean rain; they mean something even more ominous. English and/or literature majors were trained to see and hear beyond what is superficial. Yes, you can partly blame their professors for that.
  6. They are overcritical. In a good way. Having been trained to critique novels, short stories, poems, movies, etc., they tend to do the same with everything—hairstyle, dress, accessories, etc. Too much attention to detail, accuracy, “legitness” to the point that it becomes annoying.
  7. They have read the book. Plain and simple, if you want to save yourself from hearing all the rants, complains, and criticisms, I suggest you don’t watch a movie based on a book they have read. They have too much expectations for the movie since they have read the book. “But in the book, this happened, not that,” “The book is so much better,” “It was blah blah who did that, not blah blah,” and many other similar nonstop complains from the movie no matter how you think the movie was great.
  8. They are very emotional. Especially females. Again, you can blame everything that they have read—both fiction and nonfiction at that. There is a wide range of things that can trigger their memories and emotions. Your simple words or actions can make them remember what they have read and escalate the situation and, of course, their reaction and emotion to the situation.
  9. They quote people, fictional or actual. Again, having read so many, they quote people most of the time, whether or not they are real or fictional people. Most often, they will respond to you with a quote from their favorite author or character. They will strengthen their arguments with the words of a “wise” and published persona. They will criticize you with the words of an experienced author or a wise character. They will mock you with a quite from Shakespeare (or any of their favorite author and/or character). The list of instances they will quote is endless.
  10. They are hopeless romantic. But not all the time, and not all of them. There are just a few chosen few. And again, blame what they have read, especially romantic novels who promised a near-perfect relationship and happy ending. And because this, they (especially and mostly females) will expect to have the best relationship and nice romantic things (words, actions, plans, etc.) from you.

All English and/or literature majors do not share all these, but they have at least some of these. I, myself, am an English and literature major, and I do not have all of these backwashes. However, no matter these backwashes, there are also benefits from dating English and/or literature majors like us.

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