i always had a song for you

I always had a song for you.
I never sang them, but they rung
in my mind and they echoed in my heart.
They told of the words that I couldn’t say,
the thoughts I was always too scared to share.
They painted the picture of stories I couldn’t narrate,
the emotions I never wanted to show.

I always had a song for you.
I listened to them,
diving deep into the sorrow of our past.
I mouthed them,
crying silently as the words broke me.

I always had a song for you.
every word, every beat, every note–
they told the romance we once shared,
they painted my skies pink,
they gave me ease,
they reminded me i was a fool for you,
they told me i wasn’t your type,
they gave me rules and pushed me not to give a fuck,
they made me realize i was seeing blind,
they threw us our funeral.

I always had a song for you.
I was proud of them,
I was happy with them,
I was comforted by them.

I always had a song for you,
and these songs are now sung
by someone else who is happy beside you.