coffee and cigarette

you are coffee:
something i can live without yet
a craving i can never satisfy.
you fill my day and take away my weakness.
you are the distant warmth that comforts me,
the scent that takes away my weary,
the breath of caffeine
underneath my sheets and on my skin.
you are the heat that keeps me alive on
a lazy, rainy Sunday morning
when the clouds roll in
and darken my pink skies.

you are cigarette:
that momentary bliss of sinfulness,
the evanescent ecstasy of pain and pleasure.
you are the smoke of my decisions,
one that I consume in private,
wishing i could display in public eyes.
you are the remnants of my youth,
the exhaust of my days;
you are the love of vice,
the constant hunger to sin,
you are the stick  of compulsive desire to breathe
that longingly iniquitous indecision
of being found amidst the judging eyes.

you are addicting!
you are what i tried to avoid,
what i tried to live without,
but i keep running back into,
the one i cling so hard on to.

you are my coffee,
my cigarette,
my beloved addiction.