Arguing with Myself: A Bad Decision that Screwed Me Over

So earlier today, I underwent a part of our continuous improvement program at work. During the assessment, we had an extemporaneous exercise, where I was asked “What was a bad decision that you made? What did you learn from it? What would you do differently?” I never really thought of it before, but then, it came back. Don’t get me wrong, but I have already moved on, but this experience taught me a something, which will make me do things differently.

The Bad Decision

Exactly a year ago today, Cebu City celebrated Sinulog 2014. I decided to go out that night with some friends since I did not have work the next day. There, I met a lot of people, friends of a friend. Yes, I had fun, a lot of it. I was glad I was able to meet new people–people who stood on common ground with me. We had a few drinks, we had breakfast the next day, had coffee that afternoon, had dinner that night, got to know some more. I kept in touch with two specific people who were then lovers. Both were really great people–always willing to help, fun to be with, smart ones. To be exact, I was fonder with the other. I treated him like my younger brother.

Over the next few weeks, we bonded a lot. He stayed with me while I wait for my significant other. He keeps me company when I need it. The good friend that I am, I offered all the help that I could. I stayed up late to help him, I got sick helping him, I skipped work to help to him. And despite the fact that he spends too much time with my significant other, I never doubted his intentions nor did I have suspicions that he is into my significant other. Later did I find out that he has been in love with my significant other, to the point that he broke up with his partner.

What hurts me most is the fact that he seduced my significant other, promised me many times that he will remove himself from the picture but never did so, and he also told people that he and my significant other have been in a relationship long before I found out, and that my significant other is no longer in love with me but finds it difficult to break up with me and trade our four-year relationship to their two-month fling. That really made me mad. That was my mistake–trusting a total stranger with all I have and all I know.

What I Learned

This mistake taught me several things. I realized that no matter how good you try to be to other people, they will still betray you. I also realized that being too trusting to someone you just met will screw you over. It also made me question what I did wrong for me to get betrayed when all I did was be a good friend to him. I also learned to only choose the people I should trust, and they should earn my trust overtime, that trust is so fragile for me to hand it to just anyone for them to break it as soon as they get the chance. And because of this, I now also find it hard to trust people like me, if you know what I mean. This mistake also taught me that not matter how good people seem, they always that ulterior motive for being good–whatever that maybe–and I should be very vigilant around people I just met.

What I Would Do Differently Next Time

Given the things I learned, I figured our that from now on, I should do certain things different. Mainly, I should nit be too trusting to just anyone, especially those I just met, no matter how trustworthy and pleasing they seem. For another, I should always give room for doubt and ask myself “Should I really trust this person? What is in it for me and him if I give him all my trust and all I have?” Another thing that I would do differently is not let my guard down–by that, I mean to always keep my eyes open and common sense working. Never have I felt so betrayed in my entire life before this mistake, and for me to cope with that and not have my heart broken, I am going to act like I don’t have one.

Summing It All Up

These are all the things that I just wanted to share as I was not able to share these during extempo, given I only had forty-five seconds. However, I thought that I really need to let people of this mistake, not only because I want to, but because it is something that most people can relate to and learn from.