Concordant Dissonance

I look at you, and I sigh.
My heart is a whirlpool of emotions;
my brain, an abyss of thoughts.
So many things to ask you,
so many things to say.
I practice the words,
the clearest way possible,
sharp like an arrow,
loud like thunder.
I line up my thoughts,
one after the other:
like steps of a staircase,
escalating yet constant;
like waves of the oceans,
pulsing and strong.
I look at you, and I sigh.
Your countenance, bright;
your smile, endearing.
I close my eyes as my words scatter
like stars in the night sky:
specks of lights amidst the darkness,
flashing, blinking, sparkling–
beautiful, yet dissonant.
I smile as my words fade,
like smoke of a cigarette,
leaving no trace, but the smell
of stinging bitterness.
I look at you, and I sigh.
Your spirit, mirthful;
your energy, full.
I close my eyes as my thoughts crumble,
like a citadel atop the sand:
majestic, strong, and awe-inspiring;
and yet built upon fragile foundations.
I smile as my thoughts clamour,
like a pair of bashing cymbals:
loud and clear, but out of tune and incoherent.
You look at me, and you sigh.
My countenance, pale and gloomy;
my spirit, dark and lonely.
You asked me, “What are you thinking?”
I smiled and said, “A poetry I’m writing.”
I look at you, and I sigh,
becuase after all these years,
I’m back to the same groud, where
I don’t know how to talk to you.