I Lost You

The words I read froze my heart,
the roof caved in, the walls got closer,
I was shrinking, yet getting older
the way I feel, I wish you knew,
but the words wont leave
so now I’m screwed.
I swear I try, I try so hard,
pieces don’t fit, I cry so hard
I need your help
your advice, your friendship,
I wish I meant more,
I wish you forgave me
I didn’t mean to do what I did
I’m uncontrollable
I’m dysfunctional
I’m falling apart.
I just want to be happy….
I just really need you…

_____

This isn’t my poem. This was written by a friend who passed away almost two or three years ago. I thought I should share this. Now, I did not ask any permission from his family to publish this because, first, his family may be unaware about this poem, and second, he gave me this poem as it was written for me after we had a big argument, which was left unresolved until he died from severe lung condition. We had good times; we had bead ones. But he will still remain as a friend to me. I had forgiven him long ago; I just did not have the chance to tell him before his sudden death.

I forgot what it was that took him, but nobody expected it. They went on a family trip to Baguio for his birthday, and when they returned, he was rushed to the hospital after catching a fever. Six days later, he passed away. His lungs gave up due to blood infection.