awakening: poison in my wine

our love has reached its demise on a road of no return,
and like the coffee that you were, you only gave me heartburn.
i held back the tears to tell myself i am strong,
that i am not reminded of you by every fucking love song.
so i taught myself how to express my heartbreak taciturn,
because, like you, this love to me does not belong.

i did not see it coming; it took me by surprise,
and all it did was fill my nights with longing, mournful sighs.
my mornings, it turned into a dreadful tableau,
but i have learned to burn all my darlings like Nero.
though i failed to see the signs, i now see all your lies,
and all my emotion and devotion for you i now throw.

though my tarot cards have always been sibylline,
all the signs i ignored making me nothing but asinine.
i refused to heed my beloved kiths’ exhortation
that what was ours wasn’t love but a perfect illusion.
three painful heartbreaks after and i now see you’re a strychnine,
and how always you’ve been the poison in my wine.

my words fail me as i write about you,
and all the pain you’ve put me through,
my heart refuses to gather all my feelings sublime:
and i scorn to find the words that rhyme.
and now that life has given me someone new,
all my pains i buried deep with the memories of you.