Do Not Fall In Love With Me

Do not fall in love with me because I never stay. I always move around. I travel every now and then; I get sent to almost  anywhere, often with no prior notice. You’ll only get to see me for a few days once a month—and it’ll be worth it. I’ll take you to places: movies, beaches, restaurants, parks, libraries. I’ll tell you stories of my adventures and misadventures, and I’ll listen to your journey while I was away. I’ll show you the photos of my travels, as I listen to the songs you’ve collected while I was gone. And the moment we meet every month is our only momentary bliss. It may be short lived, but it will spin us to the future moments of us together we will always forever look forward to.

Don’t fall in love with me because I get disappointed easily. I do not have high expectations, but I am resistant to change. I like planning things, laying them all out, and looking forward to seeing them happen. You’ll see me sulk at a corner when something I planned and looked forward to gets postponed or cancelled last minute.

Do not fall in love with me because I am overly expressive. I may not be very good at saying what I feel most of the time, but I wear my heart on my sleeves. You’ll see the words I hide through my eyes and my lips. You’ll know when I am happy, and you’ll know when I am not okay.

Do not fall in love with me because I am stubborn. I am unwilling and unrelenting. We will argue from time to time about which should be which. And I will never back down. I will never accept defeat, whether we are talking about which is better, tiger or lion, or which fast food chain serves the most delicious fries. I will fight you if you say dogs are better than cats, or coffee is terrible. I will smite you when you tell me my favorite books, TV series, movies, etc., are overrated. I will shank you when you insist to pay for our dinner or take me somewhere I know is fancy or unreasonably priced.

Don’t fall in love with me because I am overly sensitive. I notice everything and overanalyze everything. I will be deeply aware of the smallest change in your voice, the simple smirk on your face, the sound of your silence, and even the way you purse your lips and your eyes move when talking to me.

Don’t fall in love with me because I’m the universe’s biggest drama king. You won’t understand why I am teary-eyed over that tiny kitten video that I saw a few days ago or why I am so overwhelmed with happiness when I see a random event on the street, as simple as a moving train full of people I do not even know.

Do not fall in love with me because I am eccentric. I have weird interests and hobbies. I impulsively buy books and go to conventions that most people have not even heard of. I get overwhelmed easily by simple things, like shirts that people wear, or books I see on shelves, or videos I see online. I scream out of nowhere when I am overly stimulated by things I like. I flail, and you will have to adjust to all my weirdness. You’ll see me smile out of nowhere because I remembered something from a movie or I saw you and you reminded me of something from a book.

Don’t fall in love with me because I can become obsessed with things. You’ll find me in a middle of a bookstore looking for a copy of a book no one has ever heard of, or on the Internet searching for recipes I may not even cook. Or looking at a gallery of cats, which you may not even appreciate.

Don’t fall in love with me because I’m the meanest jerk you will ever meet. I have this special ability to offend people without even trying. I can spew sarcasm in a heartbeat because, at that very moment, I thought that was the most appropriate response.

Don’t fall in love with me because I’m not a trophy. I don’t have blue eyes, a chiseled jawline, a pointy nose, six-pack abs, or unblemished cheeks. What I have are a broad forehead, a blemished face, a double chin, a flabby tummy, and an annoying smirk.

Don’t fall in love with me because I am difficult to deal with. Don’t fall in love with me because I am intimidating. Don’t fall in love with me because I am insensitive. Do not fall in love with me because I shout when I’m mad. Don’t fall in love with me because I am broken. Don’t fall in love with me because I don’t like sweets. Don’t fall in love with me because this list is endless. And if you fall in love with me, do not say I did not warn you.